Thursday, September 25, 2008

For This I Have Been Waiting

The moment I have waited for has finally taken place. That special moment in life that you have been told for ages by your grandparents and then later on your own parents.... That moment that you have no doubt shared with your friends with the ever lingering thought that someday you too will be able to enjoy a moment like this one. I have been homeschooling my children for eleven years now. It seems like twenty-two. I have enjoyed approximately two point three years,NO WAIT ,that would be two point three weeks of their education. There is alot of pride in the fact that everything they know I have taught to them. On the other hand, it is very humbling to think that all they do not know I have failed to teach them. I had a heart to heart with one of the ,let's just say a Little more mentally challenged children. No, that is a lie. He is just plain lazy. I asked him if he would be interested in going to school somewhere else.... explore other options. He did not even hesitate. Without missing a beat, he said,"Mom, I wouldn't stand a chance somewhere else. No one else would be so patient with me. No one else would push me to do better. You care whether I get it or not." At that moment it happened. All those frustrating days and nights, all the repeated lessons, all the tears I had cried were forever gone. They didn't matter any more. Nothing else really mattered and somehow my vigor came back to a level I hadn't seen in quite a while. Thank you, son. Thank you for saying those all powerful words.... Thank you. Maybe he didn't actually say,"Thank you." He implied it and that is even better. I wonder how long since we said those words to someone we love. How long since we said those longed for words...... Thank you!!!!

Friday, August 29, 2008

How Did This Happen

On September 9th,1992, I gave birth to my first child. A beautiful baby boy that has been the center of my entire world for these 16 years. I admit to you that I have been very selfish with him; not wanting to share him with anyone. He slept with me from birth, never wanting to sleep in his own bed. When my husband went to California for 3 months to preach, David was only 3 months old. I did not feel comfortable leaving home for that long of a time.... being new to this mom thing; so we stayed home, just the two of us. He road in his car seat in the front seat.[ no one told us we weren't supposed to then] He held my hand everywhere we went. We shared everything. Over the years other brothers and sisters would come along; but not alot has changed for David and I. Oh, he may shave now, and look around for girls; but the bond we have always shared is still so very strong. I recently came to a new conclusion though... I have a serious problem!!! How am I going to keep him at home?? I have begun to make a list of possible ways to prevent my son from leaving home and breaking his mommy's heart.After all he told me when he was 3 and a 1/2 that he would never grow up and he would never leave home. So in reality this is all his fault and I can not be held responcible for my actions! At the top of my list is failing him in high school for the next 5 years. That would certainly buy me some time. Next, I could most certainly ground him for the next 3 years for lying to me all those years when he said that he would never love anyone else. Also a very good option to explore is having his eye-glass perscription lowered so that he will not be able to see any other reason for leaving home. I have also recently subscribed to the magazine entitled," 25 Ways to Keep Your Adolecent From Growing Up." It has been baned in 20 states but not Alabama. It has some very good ideas as well; which include but are not limited to: getting your child to sign a binding document that will keep him in your home until the age of 35. I figure I have invested alot of money in him and it is only fair that he stay around and help support the rest of these children he calls brothers and sisters. As I further explore my possibilities, I would just like to say to David," Son, I love you so much. I know that God has great plans for you. You have made your father and I so proud of you as you surrender your life to do HIS will. I have no greater joy than to know you are willing to do whatever GOD lays out in front of you. I rest peacefully each night knowing that GOD loves you more than I do, and HE will keep you where you need to be. David, I am reminded now that GOD never promised me how long I would get to keep you. In HIS perfect plan HE may call you home to heaven tomorrow. Should that happen: my heart would break in two, but only because I would miss you so much. I would however be so thankful for all the moments of time that my heavenly father gave you to me; to love, to hold, to kiss, to hug and to teach about Jesus Christ, who gave HIS life for you and for me. Move forward son. Give every day you have to GOD. Don't waste one moment looking back. Keep your eyes on Jesus for HE is the only one who will never let you down. Live your life with no regrets. Live today like you won't have tomorrow. Most of all know that I love you ever so much and I wouldn't trade the past sixteen years for anything in this world. I look forward to the next sixteen years you spend at home with me. I love you son and please remember if you wake up one morning and you are shackled to your bed...... I did it for your own good. After all ,you did make a promise."

Thursday, August 7, 2008

A Moment of Triumph

My husband purchased a cartoon for our children. Please make a mental note of the fact that my husband did indeed purchase the said video I will now speak of. It was a very plain looking video called,"Mark Twain." I put it in for the children to watch and went to lie down, in the hopes that my medicine would knock me out cold!! I lay awake unable to sleep,but just as I was drifting off....the light in my room was thrown on and six children came bounding into my room. Where did Daddy get that movie? Did you know that they had the devil look us? Mommy, they said Adam and Eve wore clothes all the time? Heaven wasn't Heaven and Hell wasn't Hell. Those are just a few of the things they were shouting out at me. If I have ever wondered if my children were paying attention. If I ever wondered if they know the truth. I do not wonder now. When Daddy came home we scratched the fire out of our new DVD and then threw it in the trash. Good job kids!! [and keep listening]

Mommy is Sick

I haven't felt this sick since the last time I was sick. My body aches. My head hurts. Worst of all...I can't breathe. This is worse for me than anything else because I am claustrophobic. Not being able to breathe creates an incredible sense of panic for me. It takes all my self control not to run out into the streets screaming,"Somebody help me!!I can't breathe!!!!" I have taken all the recommended dosages of medicines the law will allow and still I can not breathe. Just when I thought I would lose my mind;two sweet little arms rap around my neck and a precious little voice whispers,"Mommy,I love you and I will pray Jesus makes you all better!" Like magic that the medicine could not bring.....I feel all better now. No, I still can't breathe;but that doesn't matter any more. Thank you, Cassie.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

How Did He Do That

I am so proud of myself. I have, in six months, taught myself everything there is to know about a computer. I have learned how to use Messenger, and have taught some of my blond friends to use it as well. I can down-load and actually find the files. I have come a long ways from the girl who crashed her first computer within ten minutes of getting it.
I purchased and installed, all by myself ,a children's program that claimed it would keep my children safe. This program is so concerned about my child's safety and the safety of my computer,that the children can't even get out of the safety program to access other files on the computer. This is great I told myself. Now Daddy can't blame the kids when something goes wrong with the computer. All will be well!!!
It has been two days now. The kids love it. I love it. Until.......Jonathan couldn't access something he wanted to. I was too busy to put my password in. Jonathan types in a code. Bingo!!!! He leaves the safety of the child's program and off to the Internet it goes. His older brothers are screaming how did you do that??? I am asking do you know my password. Then everyone looks at me and says," I thought you said it wouldn't do that!!!" Was it coincidence? Does he know my password? Did the computer program malfunction? We may never know. All Jonathan does is shrug his shoulders.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


I was pondering recently, who of my precious six children, would care for me in my elder years. It seems the thirties have nearly passed me by and forty doesn't seem nearly as old as it used to! Fifty year old people are mere children now. Oh how times are changing. As I reflected how time was getting away from me, I reflected over each of my children's personalities. Each child has his own little quirks and I get along with some better than others, due only to personality differences. My thoughts came to rest on Cassie. She had played with dolls earlier than any of my other children, rocking them all so sweetly and tucking them in bed at night with a prayer! She even nursed her baby dolls along side of me when Charity had been born. My precious little Cassie! I decided to set her down and discuss the delicate matter of my aging and the things I would need. Why not get the matter settled now. [so what that she is only 6. I needed peace of mind.] The moment seemed right for our little heart to heart, and it went something like this! "Cassie, mom has something to ask you." "What Mommy?" was her reply. "Well, I was wondering, do you love me?" "Oh yes, I love you so much Mommy!" she very quickly responded. "When mommy is too old to brush her hair will you brush it for me?" I asked. "I love to brush your hair Mommy." she said in her sweetest little voice. Things were going quite well. What had I been worried about? Of course Cassie was the right choice! All the time I have invested and will invest in her is definitely going to pay off. "Well Cassie," I continued,"when mommy can no longer feed herself will you cook all my favorite things to eat and feed them to me?" Her answer came quickly," Mommy, I love to cook and I will make you all your favorites and even take you out to eat sometimes." We were in the home stretch now. "Sweetheart, Mommy was just wondering, when I am too old to wipe myself will you....." At this point she interupts me with,"Mommy,will that really happen?" I believe in always telling your children the truth so of course I told her "Yes!" Her profound statement to that was,"I will have to kill you then before that happens." I sat there stunned. My sweet little girl. Where did I go wrong? I think maybe I gave her more information than she was ready to handle. I still have five other children to talk with,but I am thinking that maybe I should pray that at least one of them gets a really good job so they can put me in a really nice home, where they will pay someone to wipe mommy.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Cassie's Salvation

About one year ago, shortly after Cassie turned 6, I began to pray for her salvation. [shame on me for not having begun to pray for it 9 months before she was born] I began to plant seeds in her heart by telling her when she did something wrong, that it was sin and that was why Jesus had to die on the cross for her and mommy and daddy. Each time she would listen a little more, but every time I would get close to quoting Romans 6:23 the discussion would go something like this.... Me: Sweetheart,the Bible tells us that the wages of sin is death.

Cassie: Mommy, let's sing a song.

The next time...Me: Honey, do you know what the price of sin is?

Cassie: How about I help you fold the clothes Mommy?

round three...Me: Cassie, Jesus loves you so much that he gave his life for you!

Cassie: I am going outside to play now.

It became apparent to me that she was not ready. I told my husband that I was not going to bring it up again, until she started the conversation. Cassie has always had a Barbie mentality about the world: 'if we do not talk about bad things,they do not exist."If we think very happy thoughts all things bad will disappear!" Then one day it happened!!!!! In the middle of Wal-mart, Cassie walked up to me and said," Mommy, when we get home,I want to get saved. I wanted to make sure that she really did want to talk about it, so I didn't say a word when we got home. We had not been home two minutes when she ran in the room and asked me if I was ready to tell her how to be saved. I told her to let me put away the groceries and we could talk then. She helped me put away the groceries and asked if we could go now! We went to the wash room where I knew we would not be disturbed and I explained to her that the Bible says,"For all have sinned and come short of the glory of GOD. I told her that it meant we are all on an invisible ladder, with GOD at the top, and everyone else somewhere in between, but no one is as good as GOD. I then asked her where she thought she was on the ladder. Her reply," Right under GOD!" I knew she did not understand, at that point, that her sins moved her a little further down on the ladder than that. So, I asked her if she ever got so mad that she hated someone. She said,"Yes." I then explained to her that the Bible tells us that is the same as murder. As we continued on her facial expression showed she knew she was not as good as GOD! A few moments later, she bowed her head and asked Jesus to come into her heart and to save her!! It was the most precious experience of my life!! That was a little over 6 months ago and we have seen the Lord change her little life and make her into a young lady who seeks forgiveness very quickly and wants to please GOD in every way, often asking the question, " Mommy does this make Jesus happy?" If only I were as careful with my own actions asking, "Jesus does this make you happy?"